Anger

Dear Anonymous One,

I gave you everything that I have and more, to the point where only bones were left. Why do you do this to me?  You constantly nag about my flaws that you were once mesmerized by and now want me to change them to be the one you dream of.  Then why not go back to the one that you imagined got away.  I loved you for you, from the top of my heart, I would never place you in such a place that felt empty.  Yet that is where I seem to be in yours.

Why do you do this to me?  You constantly nag about my flaws that you were once mesmerized by and now want me to change them to be the one you dream of.  Then why not go back to the one that you imagined got away.  I loved you for you, from the top of my heart, I would never place you in such a place that felt empty.  Yet that is where I seem to be in yours.

I use to be able to confide in you for anything and now…  I hide from you, hoping you no longer seek me.  In return I felt such horrid pain and yet, idly I stay hopeful you will return to me, innocent and kind.  I no longer know who or what to blame…  Going into adulthood, financially or sexually, I have always been a pleaser.  I long to make you happy and now, that no longer bothers me.  I have grown to know what it means to survive… NO, live by myself.  I use to weep silently as your drift asleep but now… I find peace in itself.  Mainly because I do not have to hear you shout and scream how idiotic I am, how untraditional I can be and how you silently compare me to the others.

Honestly, I found you when I was lost.  You were my savior, disguised as a villain.  I thought you were going to save me from the host.  Now, you make every decision.

You say that I want to still be young and free because I hang out with those who does not have a stone on their finger.  The truth is… I have no one else, I only want your attention but you are drawn to someone else.  You do not understand the effect you have on me and never paid attention to any of the details.  I just want you to understand why I entertain myself with romantic movies and melodies.  In the end, the simple answer after all this anger is because I miss us.

 

Love,

Anonymous TD

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